发布于：2018-8-1 01:51:14 访问:857 次回复:1 篇

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Worker Money

This person knew I was a sex worker. It says so, right in my Bumble profile: retired media whore, current actual whore. He had even commented on it, using what every woman longs to listen to from the romantic girl4escort interest:`Haha, nice ;) `. And yet I watched as his face contorted in to an expression of disgust, his upper lip curling as the fact of my profession came crashing down around him such as a tonne of bricks.

"That is a lot," he explained, and he then rolled to his back and stared at the ceiling. I didn`t hear from him again.

It sometimes surprises people to hear that sex workers do a number of normal people activities, like working other jobs, studying, taking the bins out. We exist in the real world after our shifts end and the red light is flicked off; we have dinner with our families and shop at K-Mart and wait on hold with this websites providers for what is like hours.

It`s not common that the physical and emotional experiences we have at the job would be enough to replace a possible lack of intimate connection within our lives outside work; so most of us also date, with varied degrees of success.

A few months ago, I ended a relationship with a person I had been seeing for almost two years. In private, he was a massive supporter of me working, but around his colleagues and friends his tune appeared to change. He`d introduce me, but hesitate in describing our relationship; when he said, "This is Kate..." the silence that hung in the space where, "...my girlfriend," should have been weighed a tonne.

I don`t think that he personally had a trouble with me being a sex worker, but I do feel that the likelihood of others judging me – and then judging him to be with me – was enough to create him want to keep me a secret.

So I`ve recently downloaded some dating apps and put myself back on the proverbial market, but it`s נערות ליווי tough. Along with all the usual questions one ponders before a date (What do I wear? Where shall we go?) I find myself asking things like, "At what point do we have the talk?"

The talk by which I clarify my job, re-explain my profession in case my date didn`t read my Bumble bio, forgot what it said, or – worse – thought it had been a joke. Do I tell him when we meet, or before we say goodnight? Or do I throw it out randomly on the course of the evening: "Wow, this wine is delicious. In addition, I`m a hooker. Pass the salt?"

The ultimate dream scenario is that my date is supportive, and happy that I`ve found a line of work that I like and supports me financially. Unfortunately, it`s only happened once – once! – so today, I find that a lot of responses fall somewhere between abject fascination and outright objectification.

Sometimes I end on the receiving end of a lot of rapid-fire questions ("What`s the weirdest thing you`ve ever done at the job? Have you ever had a celebrity client? Are the guys all old and ugly? They`re not, like, normal guys like me, are they?") which surpasses horrified silence, but leaves me feeling like I`ve just been interviewed for an hour.

Other times, my date can barely contain their disgust, quizzing me over and once again about how precisely frequently I get my sexual health checks done and if I`m sure I`m not a carrier of some mutant strain of gonorrhoea.

"That`s all well and good," one man said, over coffee, "But obviously in the event that you went with me, you`d have to acquire a real job. And you couldn`t tell anyone we all know that you used to work." You must probably Google me before you obtain too attached to that particular idea, I wished to sneer.

Needless to say, even the crudest type of questioning is a better case scenario compared to very real threat of violence that many sex workers face when speaking about their job. I`ve friends who have been followed home and stalked by men who couldn`t understand why their date with a sex worker didn`t end with a romp, and others who`ve had partners arrive at their work in a spontaneous fit of jealousy, viciously demanding they empty their locker and return home together immediately.

And even that is preferable to the chance of physical violence from a romantic partner. I once continued a date with a man who invited me up to his bedroom, held me down as he initiated sex without a condom, and then read among my own articles, about sex work, out loud in my experience as I lay silently alongside him.

Dating isn`t easy for anyone. Even the act of getting to distil your whole person in to a quick and snappy paragraph fit for a dating app is sufficient to produce anyone desire to purge their hands and surrender to a life of solitude.

Still, I believe in love, and I understand from past experiences that relationships – when they`re good – are worth every struggle.

On the times when it`s all an excessive amount of, I find myself thankful for the easy, stress-free nature of transactional sex. An hour on the clock and a peck on the cheek to state a fond goodbye until next time: only if finding love was as simple.